bittersweet.

i want to fall, and know you will be the one to catch me.
what scares me is that i know you will.
you tell me everything, like an open book.
detailed to the very core of your soul.
the kind of qualities little girls, women, look for in another.
the ones you only see in movies.
the ones others long for.

you want to fall, and know i will be the one to catch you.
what scares YOU, though, is that you may not know i will.
i tell you half of what i feel.
and like a book, but the ones where cruel individuals rip out the end pages,
not knowing what will happen at the end.
not knowing if it was even worth the time to read.
the kinds of qualities others steer away from.
the ones you only see in movies.
the ones others do not long for.

you make me vulnerable, and it scares me.
i live to love, yet, i am trapped with the shields and defenses running all around me,
like an island in the middle of no where.
i am trapped and content, though i want to break free and give you my heart.
no chains. no locks.
the very thing that i long for.

i make you vulnerable, and it scares you.
you are not trapped but you are cautious.
like a soldier with your defenses, but you throw in the white flag thinking it is a draw.
thinking we were always on the same side.
giving your heart.
no barriers. no traps.
the very thing that you wish i would take.

in the end of this, i am only protecting you.
i am a poison. i am not the very thing you need.
i push you away, only to take you back.
like a yo-yo that a child plays with.

but unlike any one else,
i am not playing with your head and heart.
i know i am difficult.
i know i am on the fence.
but i feel what i feel.
i am just scared to fall.